The Way Out
by denise1
Summary: Jack thinks about how to get free from Ba'al


The Way Out

By

Denise

I've come to the grand conclusion that there's three ways out of this place. The most obvious one is that big hole in the wall. If somebody would just flip a switch I could walk right out of here.

Ok, so I'm somewhere deep inside Ba'al's fortress and there's a few dozen Jaffa between me and the gate but…at least it's a fighting chance.

The big problem with that option is that there's no way in hell I can use it without help. No matter how hard I stretch that button might as well be back on Earth for all my chances of reaching it.

Daniel could do it. Surely pressing a button isn't interference in the grand galactic scheme of things. Just lean against the wall…oops….did I do that?? Piece of cake, easy as pie…not gonna happen.

Scratch option one.

Option two is to give Ba'al what he wants. Names, places…hell I'd give him my ATM PIN number if I thought it'd make a difference.

The problem is, I don't remember all that much. Kanan knew that he wouldn't be hanging around long so…he kept secrets. A real 'need to know' kinda guy. Evidentally sharing your head isn't quite enough to earn their trust. The only thing I really know is why we came here…and that's the one thing I can't tell him.

I'd never met Shallan, but I knew who she was the second I saw her. I know that she has this ticklish spot at the base of her spine and that she likes to cuddle up on her lover's right side. She had a crush on Ba'al when he first chose her, and now she hates how he uses her. She didn't know that what he was doing was wrong. She thought her God had chosen her. It was an honor, a dream come true. Suddenly she had enough food, nice clothes, respect. And all he asked for was her loyalty…and eventually her body.

Kanan was sort of like Ba'al that way. They both used her. Except Kanan loved her. Against all the rules, bucking all the odds, he loved her. He didn't realize it until it was too late, until he left her behind. For the first time in his existence, he loved someone.

It hadn't started that way. She was a means to an end. His get in free pass to Ba'al's inner circle. He wooed her, fired her imagination with fantastical stories of other planets and marvelous sights. He brought her gifts and trinkets. He made her feel special. Kanan was a player, a true manipulator. The Don Juan of the Tok'ra.

Then he made a mistake. Somehow, someway she stopped being an assignment and started being a commitment. Keeping her identity a secret wasn't to protect his ass, it was to protect her.

He didn't understand those emotions. That ache in his gut, the anxious feeling. His supreme interest in any word leaking from Ba'al's fortress. That tiny panicked feeling when he'd hear about a raid or attack.

He actually gave a damn about someone other than himself.  You know the oh so wise snake didn't even know what he was feeling at first? He didn't know that he loved her, he just thought that he cared for her…didn't want to endanger his contact after all. No big deal.

A two thousand-year-old snake and I gotta tell him he's in love. If that ain't irony I don't know what is.

He risked everything to come after her. The Tok'ra aren't big on romance. They know it happens of course, but strategically, it messes things up. They're big on cutting their losses. If one Tok'ra risks his life to save another, they don't see it as a noble act, they see it as a stupid risk. They're a real glass is half-empty bunch.

That's another reason I don't like them. They give up too easy.

Kanan gave up too easy. I know why he bailed. He couldn't live with watching Ba'al torture Shallan. And he knew if he wasn't around, he couldn't give her up. I guess he thought he was protecting her. Maybe in his warped little Tok'ra way he was. As far as I'm concerned, he abandoned her.

Just like I did. I gotta hope that the Jaffa were so occupied with me that they didn't notice her. She knows how to get in and out of this place. If she was smart, she slipped back in that secret passage and made a beeline for Ba'al's chambers. Chances are he won't even know she left. As long as he doesn't suspect her, she's safe. I gotta keep him from suspecting her.

That's one thing Kanan and I have in common. We both want to protect her. Which, I guess, is why I'm ready to die. I know my limits. Every man has them. Everyone will reach a point where they'll do anything to survive…ANYTHING.

I'm there.

Which leaves option three.

I want to think I'll hold out forever…but I know I can't. Maybe if I had a reason to hope. But I don't. No one knows where I am…well, other than Daniel, but he can't do a damn thing about it. Part of me wishes he'd never showed up. I know he means well but…I don't need a goddamn cheerleader, I need some help.

Yes, believe it or not, Jack O'Neill can admit that he needs help. I don't need much, just turn off the sarcophagus.  Don't feed me this non-interference crap. They play by the same standards as the Asgard. Yeah, sure, they don't interfere…unless they're in the mood to. Two faced, glow in the dark hypocrites.  Even if you don't give a damn about me, think about her.  She's just a kid. Ya know what Ba'al does to lotars that betray him? The stains are still in the carpet from his last one.

He'll hurt her. He won't be content with acid or knives. He'll break her, beat her and abuse her until there's nothing left. He'll take that fire she has and squash it under his boot until it's just a dark little smear.

I can't let that happen to her. I can't avoid leaving her behind, the least I can do is protect her the only way I can. I'd do it for a member of my team, I'll do it for her.

Option three…works every time.

Fin


End file.
